Right when I thought I had life with two kids figured out, the 4 month old sleep regression rocked our world.
I felt SO good about my son sleeping through the night. Then the 4 month old sleep regression crept in. Suddenly it took me HOURS to finally put my son down in his bassinet. I would breastfeed, rock, hold, sing, and tap dance (just kidding but I might as well have) to soothe him.
He would fall asleep and as soon as I placed him in his bassinet, he would wake up and cry for me. It would take me 4 or 5 attempts in 2 hours to put him to sleep and stay asleep. He was holding me hostage. Oh, and he was ALSO back to waking up 3-4 times during the night. Sometimes more! I was exhausted, worn out, depleted, and I knew something HAD to change. It was official. I needed help with sleep training.
At this point, his bassinet was still in our bedroom. So when my husband and I went to bed we felt like we had to tip toe around.
I am a stay-at-home mom and also have a toddler. I probably don’t have to tell you how much energy you need to keep up with toddlers.
So I NEEDED energy and wanted to find a way to be my best self for kids, my husband, and myself. We were all struggling and needed help.
Then I met Xan from MyBaby Sleepology and everything changed! I am convinced she is an angel sent from Heaven.
THIS POST IS IN PARTNERSHIP WITH MYBABY SLEEPOLOGY. MEANING I RECEIVED FREE SERVICE. ALL VIEWS AND OPINIONS ARE MY OWN. KNOW THAT I ONLY POST ABOUT SITES AND PRODUCTS THAT I THINK WOULD BE IMMENSELY HELPFUL AND THAT I HAVE USED MYSELF.
MyBaby Sleepology is offering my audience $20 off any program. Get your $20 off through this link.
Sleep Training My 4 Month Old
Meet the Sleep Expert
Xan Coffman is a certified sleep expert, mother of three girls, and the Founder of MyBaby Sleepology and the Pediatric Sleep Academy.
Through MyBaby Sleepology, Xan and her team provide personalized 1:1 support to families, and through the Pediatric Sleep Academy, she trains and certifies others to become sleep consultants, sharing her proven methods for success.
With over 9 years of experience, Xan has worked with thousands of families worldwide, helping children from birth to age five become great sleepers.
Her expertise and results have earned her features on MTV, ABC, iHeart Media, Glamour Magazine, and more. Backed by over 400 five-star reviews on Google and Facebook, her impact speaks for itself.
What sets Xan and her team apart is their commitment to science-based methodologies. Their approach goes beyond focusing on wake windows, leveraging principles like circadian rhythms, internal clocks, sleep waves, and restorative sleep windows to create lasting results for families.
They firmly believe that all children have the potential to become great sleepers with the right tools and guidance.
So I felt super confident choosing her!
The Journey
Pick Your Program
MyBaby Sleepology offers both in-home and virtual sleep services.
They also offer a complimentary 15-minute call to help you pick the best program for you and your family.
Whether you want to learn about newborn sleep so you can hit the ground running, need help with sleep training, or are facing sleep issues with your toddler, they offer the help you need.
Even if you have a few specific sleep issues you’d like support with, you can schedule a consultation to guide you and provide solutions.
Initial Challenges
Changing habits is always hard. Throughout this journey, I learned I was doing SO many things wrong. I had a lot of changes to make. You don’t know what you don’t know.
This experience was a huge learning moment for me as a new mom- even though this wasn’t my first rodeo.
It took a moment to master a schedule that would become our family’s new normal. Since I also have a toddler, I had to readdress our routine. But after making the necessary changes, I saw results immediately.
Ultimately I was grateful to spot my mistakes from the start and make adjustments, which resulted in our days and nights becoming much smoother. As a former teacher, I appreciate a good learning opportunity.
Biggest Lesson Learned
Xan was very supportive. We communicated daily through a sleep log where I shared everything. From what time my son woke up to when he went down and fell asleep. All the details.
The biggest aha moment happened during day 1 of sleep training. I realized that having my son wake up between a certain time frame, sleeping during certain times of day, not breastfeeding my son immediately before bed, and putting him to sleep during a specific window, impacted our family in the best way.
We were all thriving right away. I saw instantly how developing a strong sleep schedule impacts the entire family.
Before beginning this program, I imagined mastering my son’s sleep schedule would make our lives so much better. I just had no idea how much more productive I would be. I didn’t realize how much more quality time I would have with my older child. With my husband too. I was even able to carve out some quality me time, which was SO needed!
I KNEW we needed sleep training, but this experience was so enlightening. Sleep truly affects everything.
A Snapshot of Our Week of Sleep Training
Before sleep training began I shared my goals with Xan.
I wanted my baby to transition to his room, master his sleep schedule, consistently sleep through the night, and shorten his bedtime routine.
Night 1
Xan called and I had a one hour intake call to educate me on everything I needed to understand before beginning the sleep training process.
We talked about an optimal sleep environment, sleep training methods, and she also walked me through what our daily routine should look like- when he should wake up in the morning, when I should put him down for naps, how long he should sleep, and when to put him down for the night.
She answered all the questions I had and I left the call feeling super comfortable and pumped to begin.
I chose to use the Ferber sleep training method. This requires you to put your child to sleep drowsy but awake. You leave the room and gradually increase intervals between when you check in on your baby. This helps babies learn to self-soothe instead of relying on you to put them to sleep.
An important thing to remember is that it isn’t just about the method that you choose. While consistency with the method is important, the timing piece to it all is key and that’s where Xan helped a ton.
This call took place in the afternoon. So I began implementing all of my new knowledge by bedtime. So for each day, I will recap bedtime FIRST and then share how naps went.
Here’s how night 1 went:
He only needed 4 check-ins after putting him to bed for the night. It took him 51 minutes to fall asleep. This amazed me since I was used to being held prisoner for 2 hours before he would finally agree to go to sleep.
What did I do with this extra time? I ate my dinner in peace, put laundry away, AND had more time to relax before putting myself to sleep. I already felt like a whole new woman.
He took 3 naps and I only had to do one check-in. On average, he took 6 minutes to fall asleep for naps.
Night 2
When bedtime arrived, he needed 4 check-ins again. BUT this time it took him 32 minutes to fall asleep. Progress!
He did not need any check-ins during naps. After laying him in his bassinet for his first nap, he was asleep 5 minutes later. After his second nap, he was asleep 6 minutes later. I couldn’t believe it.
Night 3
My all-star sleeper did not need any check-ins at bedtime. It only took him 20 minutes to calmly fall asleep.
This is the first night I began weaning him from breastfeeding. From here on out I shaved off a couple of minutes of breastfeeding from the middle of the night feeding. I did this each night until he no longer woke up to feed.
He did not need any check-ins during naps again. On average, it took him 11 minutes to fall asleep during naps.
Night 4
We had another amazing night. After I put him down for the night, he needed two check-ins, and it took him 43 minutes to fall asleep.
He would have fallen asleep much faster if his 3-year-old sister hadn’t been having a very loud temper tantrum. I am sure he wouldn’t have needed any check-ins either!
He did not need any nap check-ins. On average, he took 7 minutes to fall asleep.
Night 5
As I laid him down in his bassinet, he flashed a big smile and began putting himself to sleep. He did not need any check-ins and confidently fell asleep in 23 minutes.
He did not need any nap check-ins. His average time to fall asleep for naps was 8 minutes.
Night 6
My little dude only took 10 minutes to fall asleep for the night.
He did need 2 check-ins during the night, but I still consider this night a huge success. I will take 1 or 2 wakings over 4 or more any day!
Remember I weaned him from breastfeeding at night (which can take a few nights for babies to adjust to) so the time he is awake during the night is SIGNIFICANTLY less than before beginning sleep training.
The average time he fell asleep for naps was 10 minutes.
Night 7
On this night he peacefully fell asleep within 15 minutes.
He woke up for a longer stretch in the middle of the night. After talking with Xan about it, I learned that mini regressions can occur due to gross motor skills because it’s new, frustrating, and exciting. My son has been kicking his legs more and trying to perfect rolling over.
He has not yet fully mastered this skill. He can roll onto his belly but struggles to flip back over. Xan explained that he might be practicing at night, and once he masters this skill, his sleep won’t be interrupted.
So we are giving him more tummy time during the day so he can strengthen those muscles.
He did however rock his naps! The average time he took to fall asleep was 7 minutes.
Night 8
This night was magical! Here’s why. My son did not need any check-ins. This was the first night he slept through the night during this sleep training process. I was able to wean him from night feeds successfully.
I woke up in the morning, checked the time, and was amazed that he did not wake up once. This was a HUGE improvement.
This is what I was waiting for and I wanted this to continue.
Night 9
And it did continue. Tonight was another great night.
He fell asleep within 5-10 minutes for naps and bedtime.
No midnight wake-ups!
The Results: A Transformation in Sleep and Life
I honestly couldn’t be happier. In just one week, Xan helped us meet our goals, and I am forever thankful!
Through sleep training, we discovered my son is a higher sleep needs baby, which means that he needs 12+ hours at night and 3.5+ during the day. This is something I would have NEVER figured out on my own. But knowing this along with all the helpful baby sleep knowledge I learned along the way, helped me meet my sons’ sleep needs.
His naps are now so much longer. Transitioning him to his own room and providing him with a great sleep environment made the biggest difference.
I can now say that we have mastered his sleep schedule, for both naps and bedtime.
Putting him to sleep is now seamless. I lay him down and he will happily put himself to sleep within minutes. Gone are the days when it would take 2 hours to fall asleep.
I can proudly say that my baby boy no longer wakes up demanding milk to fall back asleep. And I know he doesn’t need it! If he does wake up at night, he will easily soothe himself without my help. This is huge.
Our family is thriving in such a short time frame. How quickly he got the hang of our new normal is shocking.
Besides being more productive, I have more energy and patience. My mind is more clear and I feel like a better mom.
Goodbye, stress, exhaustion, and crankiness.
If you and your baby are feeling just as tired and irritable as we were, reach out to MyBaby Sleepology!
Why MyBaby Sleepology Stands Out
Xan and her team take the time to get to know you and offer a customized plan to fit your family’s needs. Before beginning, they ask if you have a high or low crying tolerance, take the time to educate you on your child’s sleep needs based on their age, and craft a personalized plan that you feel comfortable with.
Even if you opt for a virtual sleep program, they do an excellent job of communicating. I never felt like I was going to fail. Because of the new knowledge, daily communication, and feedback, I actually felt more and more confident each day.
Receiving daily feedback about what went well and what we needed to tweak was incredibly helpful. Xan looked at the sleep log every single afternoon. His naps and duration during the day determined bedtime.
Having someone to check in with each afternoon was so reassuring. She made sure I knew what time would be best for him to go to sleep each night. This support made it impossible for us to fail.
MyBaby Sleepology’s methodology is based on the science behind sleep. Based on my experience, I can genuinely say you are in great hands!
Special Offer for My Readers
MyBaby Sleepology is offering $20 off any program of your choice.
Schedule your 15 minute consultation with MyBaby Sleepology here!
You will be just as blown away as I was by how quickly your little darling gets the hang of this whole sleep thing.
My Final Thoughts
Sleep training has been the best decision for our family. Having a stronger routine and a better education about my child’s sleep needs is exactly what I needed. What my son needed and what my whole family needed.
I can now carve out time to take a shower without rushing. I can take my time knowing that my son is just fine in his bassinet.
I actually have time to prepare dinner instead of just throwing things together and hoping that it tastes good. His third nap happens when I make dinner. We are eating better these days!
Even on days that I make dinner after he takes his third nap, he lets me do what I have to do without screaming at me. I am no baby expert, but I believe this is because better sleep affects his overall mood. He smiles more and has become a lot more independent.
I can eat dinner with my toddler and husband without shoveling food down my throat. Since he is sleeping better, he is a much happier baby. So he lets me eat in peace without screaming his head off. Some days I eat after I put him to bed. Either way, dinner is enjoyable again.
I also get more quality time with my toddler. I no longer have anxiety about how many minutes I have before he loses it because it does not happen anymore. His sleep needs are met.
Frequently Asked Questions
I asked Xan to share the most commonly asked questions about sleep.
1. Q: Do I have to use the “cry it out” method?
A: No! There are other methods to choose from, such as Ferber, Pick Up Put Down, and the Chair Method. You can also modify these methods! The good news is that all of the methods work as long as the parents are 100% consistent. It is important that parents choose a method they are comfortable with so that they can follow through, which in the end helps their child to learn the fastest.
2. Q: When is the earliest you can start sleep training?
A: 16 weeks from a baby’s estimated due date. This is when a baby has hit the 4 month sleep regression and they are developmentally ready to be sleep trained!
3. Q: Is your methodology based on awake windows?
A: No. At 16 weeks we want to shift away from focusing on just awake windows and instead go by their bio rhythm, which is based on science. Once their internal clock forms, there are certain windows throughout the day where a child’s sleep will be most restorative
Before and After
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