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I recently became a mom of two, and life is crazy. I love this beautiful transition of motherhood, but it is very chaotic these days. If you are a new mom of two I am sure you know exactly what I am talking about. I was desperate to figure out how to manage two kids at home. My toddler and I thrive on a schedule and I had that mastered before welcoming my son. So let’s figure out how to add one to the mix while saving your sanity.
We all know that the newborn phase is all about survival especially if you have a colicky baby like I do. I was extremely sleep deprived, cranky, and feeling like a first-time mom all over again.
So I told myself I had to figure out a schedule and FAST. I seriously needed to save my sanity and make our days and nights smoother. If your newborn is also struggling with sleep, these sleep sacks have been phenomenal. My son likes to sleep with his arms out and he has been loving these.
Some people say going from one kid to two is easier than becoming a first time mom and I beg to differ. Here are all the helpful things I learned that helped improve our lives tremendously.
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Exactly How to Manage 2 Kids
1. Be the First to Wake Up
As hard as this may be I always try to wake up before my toddler. This gives me time to start my morning slowly. I can drink my coffee without feeling like I have to throw it back. I can have a little time to relax in peace and get a few things done if I want to.
One day a week I will sleep in and wake up when my toddler wakes up because that is also needed. Most days I need to start my day with some me time. I suggest you do the same. It makes the day 1000 times better.
2. Prioritize Self Care
This is an easy one to forget. Tasks like taking a shower, brushing your teeth and hair, and getting yourself dressed for the day can go out the window when you have kids to tend to. It is important though. When you don’t make a point to take care of yourself, it affects your mental health. Your day too.
If I stay in my pajamas I feel unmotivated all day. It is amazing how getting dressed and ready impacts your day.
3. Make Time to Do Things You Love
In addition, make time to do things you love. When mom is happy the whole family is happy. I know you are probably wondering when you can fit your hobby into your daily routine. The truth is that you make time for things you love.
For example, working out helps improve my mental health. When I start my morning with some cardio it sets the tone for the rest of my day. The only time I can do this is when my kids are asleep. So after my morning cup of coffee, I get my butt off the couch.
As moms, it is easy for us to put our needs on the back burner. Make it a point to do something you love each day. You’ll feel a difference. Promise.
4. Spend Quality Time With Your First Baby
Your first baby getting jealous and acting out is a possibility. Your oldest is used to getting all the time and attention and now they have to share you with their new sibling. Sharing you may or may not go over well!
Figure out how to spend quality time with your first baby each day. Doing this will make the transition much easier and will help prevent behavior problems.
5. Have Engaging Toys for Independent Play
It is important to have toys that will entertain your toddler and promote cognitive growth. Your new baby will require a ton of attention between diaper changes, feeding, and needing to be held.
So having toys that are engaging is a great way to keep your toddler busy. These toys have been amazing for my kids’ development. Anytime I have to tend to my son, I hand my daughter one of these carefully crafted toys! They do a great job of keeping her attention and challenging her too.
6. Synchronize Naps!
This is gold. The biggest struggle as a new mom of two has been finding balance and downtime during the day.
Downtime is rare and much needed. The few hours during the day when both of my kids are asleep is one of the best parts of my day. It gives me a chance to breathe, relax, and re-energize.
7. Be Proactive
Always anticipate what will happen next. I feed my newborn before I serve my toddler lunch. This allows me to successfully prep and feed my daughter without being interrupted. Always think one step ahead. Ask yourself what roadblocks might arise and have a plan of attack.
8. Create a Flexible Routine
The key word is flexible! Give yourself grace here. Establishing a routine that your kids will grow to learn is super helpful. Predictability helps your kids transition without hiccups. Avoid the toddler tantrums!
9. Educate Yourself on Sleep Schedules
When my daughter was a newborn she was very easygoing. She only cried when she was hungry and was a great sleeper. Sure she went through sleep regressions like every baby does, but aside from that she has always been a great sleeper. I honestly didn’t have to read up too much on newborn sleep because life was good.
My son is a different story. For 3-4 hours every single night, he would cry. It was impossible to soothe him and putting him to sleep was a nightmare. After educating myself on newborn sleep schedules, I discovered that he was napping too long during the day and his wake window before bedtime was too long.
Have you ever tried to put an overtired baby to sleep? IT IS HORRIBLE. After looking closely at his nap times and wake windows, his sleep dramatically improved. Ours did too!
Another insanely helpful sleep item is these sleep sacks. When I would use a regular swaddle on my son he would angrily and desperately try to break his arms free. These sleep sacks help soothe him and allow his arms to be free. No more drama!
This is a great resource for newborn sleep schedules.
10. Clean as You Go
Finding the time to tidy up around the house can be a huge hurdle. It has been helpful for me to clean as I go. This looks like wiping the counters and loading the dishwasher while my daughter eats lunch.
I also follow the one-time rule. If something is in my hand I return it to its “home” instead of putting it down in a random spot. If I have my daughter’s brush in my hand and I am in the living room, I will return it to her bathroom where it belongs before moving on. This saves me from having more to tidy up later. Give it a try.
11. Meal Prep
This is a game-changer. Meal prep as much as possible. Not having to prepare a meal every single night is magical.
For our family, 5:00 until bedtime is madness. Mainly because this is the time my newborn likes to fuss. So give yourself breaks throughout the week from cooking by preparing meals in advance.
Stock up on aluminum trays and store your dinners in the freezer or the fridge depending on when you plan to enjoy them.
12. Keep the Diaper Bag Packed and Ready
Leaving the house with one baby was hard. Leaving the house with two babies requires even more time and energy.
Keeping the diaper bag packed and ready to go at all times saves you from doing one more thing before you head out.
13. Give Yourself Extra Time Before Leaving the House
Since we are talking about preparing to leave the house… give yourself extra time to get everyone ready before heading out the door. I give our family 20-30 additional minutes to get ourselves together.
Things come up. Your toddler might decide to run around the house in their birthday suit instead of letting you dress them, your newborn might have a blowout, or the dog might throw up. All things that have happened to me while attempting to leave the house! These sorts of things always happen when you are in a hurry too. So give yourself plenty of extra time.
14. Baby Wear
My baby carrier is hands down my favorite baby product. This carrier is great for wearing when you are out and about and at the house. I swear by it and it works like magic.
Whenever my son starts fussing I just pop him in the carrier and instantly he is happy again. Just like that.
Even when he fights taking a nap, just put your newborn in the baby carrier and I am confident he or she will go right out.
15. Ask Your Toddler to Help You
Sometimes older siblings experience jealousy after welcoming their new sibling. For this reason, we bought and read plenty of books about being a big sister. These books helped prepare her for new life changes.
From my experience, asking my toddler to help take care of our new little blessing has been incredibly helpful. Even during moments when it’d be easier for me to do it myself, I include her. She feels like a big shot and it prevents a meltdown and jealousy.
16. Don’t Leave Your Kids Alone
This is probably an obvious one, but it is important. Toddlers can be rough. Always supervise your kids.
17. Schedule Time for Your Toddler to Leave the House
Many moms stay home in their new baby bubble during the early days. If you have a wild thing like I do, your little one needs to get out and run around. Make a plan for your oldest baby to leave the bubble and have some fun.
Have your husband or grandparents take them for a walk, to the park, or anywhere their little heart desires. This makes a big difference. It also gives you a break from taking care of two.
18. Toddler Proof
Your house has likely already been baby proofed. As you already know, safety is essential. There are plenty of moments when your newborn will demand your attention. During these moments you can rest assured that your toddler is just fine.
19. Affirm Your Toddler
Kids need to hear praise and words of affirmation. It helps build their confidence and makes them feel good. When your oldest baby is being a good helper or doing a good job, don’t hesitate to affirm them and build them up.
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