Mornings can humble even the most organized mom. You’re barely awake and someone already can’t find their shoes, someone else is suddenly starving, and someone else is flat out refusing to leave their bed. Somehow, everyone is shocked that they have to wake up even though we do this same routine every single day. After trying and failing at so many different morning routines, I realized one very important thing…your nighttime routine almost completely determines how stressful your morning is.
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If you wake up feeling like you’re already 3 steps behind in your day, this nighttime routine will change everything.
Not because it somehow creates more hours in your day or turns you into some Type A mom that suddenly has it all together, but because nighttime is when you set up the kind of morning where you’re not sprinting from one task to another as soon as you open your eyes.
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If you are just not a morning person, the truth is, mornings aren’t the problem…nights are.
It’s the number of decisions you have to make before your brain is even awake that are causing you so much stress.
When you’re tired, only half awake, and still trying to remember what day it is, the last thing you need is to have a to-do list a mile long to accomplish before you can get out the door.
A nighttime routine takes all of that pressure off the table. It lets you wake up with fewer choices, fewer surprises, and fewer reasons to lose your mind before you’ve had your coffee.
Nighttime routines are a sort of hack for moms who dread mornings.
Step 1: Just Get Started, Your Routine Will Never Be Perfect
Your nighttime routine does NOT need to look like anyone else’s. Even mine.
You don’t need a wind-down ritual or to journal about your day.
Some nights you’ll go to sleep feeling like you’ve accomplished all that you wanted while other nights you will feel like you barely managed to get everyone’s teeth brushed.
Both versions count as a successful nighttime routine. What matters is that you’re doing a few simple things that make tomorrow smoother.
Step 2: Focus on the Essentials
Stop trying to do it all before bed. Nighttime is one of the most stressful parts of your day, if your days are anything like ours.
I’ve finally learned that I have to focus on the essentials and stop trying to accomplish everything I didn’t get done throughout the day.
NIghttime isn’t the time to clean the entire house. No mom has time for that between brushing teeth and finding shoes for the next morning.
Here are a few things you can focus on at nighttime that will actually make a huge difference in your morning…and they only take a few minutes!
- Reset the kitchen just enough. Clear the sink, start the dishwasher, and wipe down the counters if you have an extra 5 seconds.
- Prep your coffee. Set the coffee maker, fill water bottles for the kids, and come up with a mental plan for breakfast.
- Lay out clothes for everyone. Yours and theirs. Finding weather-appropriate clothes is seriously 50% of my morning stress.
- Find the darn keys now! If you find all of the morning essentials during your nighttime routine, you eliminate half of your morning chaos. Backpacks, keys, shoes, diaper bag, etc. Put them in the same spot every night.
If you do nothing else, these four things alone make mornings feel so much more controlled. They absolutely deserve a spot in your nighttime routine.
Step 3: Build a Nighttime Routine Rhythm That is Easy to Stick To!
You want your nighttime routine to feel like it’s just part of the flow of your day. Not something that requires a checklist to make sure you don’t miss something.
Here’s what my nighttime routine looks like:
- Help my kids through their nighttime routines. Showers, get teeth brushed, and read a book.This is the last time you’ll see your kids tonight. Don’t let them finish their day with a stressed out mama (or dad). Try to fill your nights with positive interactions with your kids. Not rushing from one task to the next.
- Quick reset of the areas that cause the most stress. It’s the dishes for me.
- Set the coffee maker and fill water bottles.
- Lay out clothes.
- Bathroom routine – shower, teeth, some skincare.
If I feel like I have enough energy, I:
- Start a load of laundry.
- Get any amount of breakfast prepped.
- Get lunches started for the next day.
Step 4: Involve the Kids
I used to do the entire nighttime routine alone with my husband while the kids played in other rooms.
Now, I involve them in any way I can. When this worked so well for my morning routine, I decided to try it at nighttime too. It has been a gamechanger.
Yes, they complain and yes it takes longer. I still do it.
The truth is, any amount of help they can provide takes a little off my plate.
My littlest kids are able to put their toys in bins, put all dirty laundry in a hamper, and grab their own pajamas to change into after a shower.
My older kids lay out their own clothes, get their backpacks ready, and gather water bottles or other necessities.
They are also able to help load the dishwasher, switch laundry over from the washer to the dryer, and they often help clean up after dinner.
Our goal is to teach them about teamwork. I thought by doing everything that I was taking care of my family. While that was true, it also wasn’t showing them how to do anything for themselves.
When I realized they were taking all of our work for granted, I involved them in these tasks and it helped our kids to realize how much effort it really takes to keep our home and family running smoothly.
Step 5: Incorporate Some Sort of Bonding
After rushing from one task to the next all day long, it’s easy to go to sleep feeling disconnected from those we love the most.
Each night after the hardest things are done, we try to do some sort of bonding as a family. On Friday nights, we watch a movie together right before bed.
Some nights, we play a quick game like Rat a Tat Cat. It takes us 5 minutes or less and our kids love it.
Other nights we’ll listen to music while we’re tackling our nighttime routine. There is something bonding about screaming the words to the same song from different rooms in the house. If you’re intentional about bonding with your kids, you can’t go wrong.
Step 6: Do One “Selfish” Thing
Moms are great at juggling all the things and running on fumes.
Just because we can do it all doesn’t mean we should.
When I am pouring from an empty cup, so to speak, I am super irritable and feel like I have no patience.
Your kids deserve the best of you, and this is how you give them that.
For me, this looks like doing my skincare routine, reading a few pages of a good book, or finally painting my nails. Maybe I curl up with a cup of tea for 15 minutes of quiet time.
Recently I purchased a new planner and some cute planner stickers that are completely unnecessary. I found that I really love jotting down my plans for the next day and bedazzling them. It seemed silly when I purchased them and it seems silly to admit now, but it’s fun for me and I actually want to use my planner.
Whatever little thing I can do for myself at the end of the night always makes me feel a little rejuvenated at the end of a long day.
Don’t skip this step. I might argue that it’s the most important one.
Final Thoughts
If your mornings feel rushed, loud, chaotic, or just plain miserable, your nighttime routine is the place to fix it.
You won’t fix the stress in your days in the morning, not by arguing with your family for more help, not with a stricter minute-by-minute schedule.
Just a simple, imperfect, but easy-to-stick-to routine that makes your nights flow more smoothly and has a huge impact on the following day.
At the end of the day, your nighttime routine isn’t about perfection, productivity, or checking off every single thing on a list. It’s about giving yourself a little breathing room, showing up for yourself, and prepping your home for a more manageable day tomorrow. Every small habit matters. You’re not just surviving the nights, you’re laying the foundation for easier mornings and are trying to wrap up your nights by bonding with your family. Even on the nights when it feels impossible, remember, you’re doing enough and this routine, however imperfect it is, is a gift to yourself and your family!
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