Before I became a mom, I did all the new mom stuff. I read books, saved tips I found online, and convinced myself I was ready. Spoiler alert: Nothing—and I seriously mean NOTHING—can actually prepare you for motherhood. I can confidently say that I learned many lessons through experience.
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There were so many speed bumps and hiccups that I was not prepared for. Like my daughter’s long and rough eczema journey. And battling allergies. Besides learning to deal with unexpected issues, there were just so many things people never warned me about.
There are lots of parenting books out there, but when I was a new mom in the thick of spit-up, explosive diapers, and crying (me and my baby!), I would have LOVED to get my hands on a quick and straight-to-the-point list of helpful tidbits other new moms learned. I even would have appreciated re-reading this list before having my son. Who doesn’t love a refresher?
After all, it’s not like there is a class we all take in parenting. We learn lessons along the way. I learned so many lessons and tricks after having my first baby that I took with me as a second-time mom.
I am by no means an expert, just a mama sharing all the things I learned as a first-time mom!
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Helpful Things I Learned As a First-Time Mom
1. No Parent is Perfect
Wanting to be the best mom is natural. Just having the desire to be a great parent makes you a great mom already. Whether you are a new mom or not, this is SUCH a helpful reminder. I have to remind myself that no parent is perfect, quite often since I have a habit of being hard on myself.
So give yourself grace when you have a hard day and when you’re struggling to balance all the things. Motherhood is no joke. We are all human.
Oh, and social media is not real life. One picture or one post represents one moment in time. So don’t compare yourself to others.
2. Do What Works for You
Everyone wants to give new moms their two cents. I noticed this while I was pregnant. People around me wanted to share their unsolicited advice on how I should deliver my baby and share their horror delivery stories. No thanks.
You will quickly notice that people can be quick to offer advice, even if you aren’t asking for it.
Do what works best for you and your family.
Do not allow others to take over. If other extended family members are overstepping, it is okay and probably time to enforce boundaries.
3. Onesie Trick
This is a secret I wish I had been let in on sooner! The envelope shoulders on onesies help you get through diaper blowouts a little more cleanly.
I learned way too late that the shoulders are intentionally designed so you can slide the onesie down over your baby’s legs. Because pulling a messy, dirty, stinky over your baby’s head is gross. Brilliant!
4. Get Your Stuff Together
As humans, we all have room for growth. Ask yourself how you would like to grow.
For me, it was important to find ways to manage stress, be less uptight, and I REALLY wish I were smarter with money BEFORE having kids. Not that I was awful with money, I just wish I thought more about my future and saved more.
If I could go back in time, I would have become debt-free and aggressively saved and invested before starting a family. You don’t know what you don’t know.
Our kids learn by watching us, so make a plan to better yourself and execute it.
5. Buckle Up
Motherhood is a rollercoaster ride. Some days are sunshine and rainbows, and other days I feel like I am on the struggle bus and barely holding it together.
Here is one of the greatest first time mom tips. Every day is a new day. Feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated, and happy all in a day is relatable for all parents.
I wake up before my kids every morning. This helps me enjoy a little quiet time and drink my coffee without being climbed on like a jungle gym. I have found that enjoying some me time and relaxing before the craziness begins helps me have a positive start to my day.
So remember to take care of yourself too! It absolutely WILL help you be a better mom and deal with the craziness.
6. Your Life Changes in the Best Way
Becoming a mother made me so much softer, and it definitely helped me become more patient. I wouldn’t call myself the most patient person in the world, but these days I have more than I ever have.
Taking care of tiny humans is a huge responsibility. The second I knew I was pregnant, I decided I wanted more for my life. My motivation and happiness grew tremendously.
My kids drive me to be the best person, prioritize my health so I can be around as long as possible, and dream much bigger.
I believe motherhood makes us better people.
7. You’ll Doubt Yourself Often
From baby product choices to sleep and daily schedules, I questioned everything. I became the Queen of Google. But if I am being completely honest, googling all of the questions that entered my brain gave me even more anxiety.
I remember looking at my baby and wondering, “Am I doing this right?”
It took some time for me to gain confidence as a mother, but learning to trust my instincts was empowering. We know our kids better than anyone. Go with your gut and have faith in yourself. You’ve got this!
8. You’ll Cry More
I thought I was on a hormonal rollercoaster ride during pregnancy, and I was WAY more emotional postpartum. My poor husband.
One morning after pumping, I spilled my breastmilk, and I cried. Hard. In my new mom era, I have become more sensitive than ever (and I was always a really sensitive person).
I cry if a touching commercial comes on the TV, when I look at pictures of my kids when they were itty bitty, and sometimes I am guilty of getting overly emotional about an innocent comment my husband makes. Hormones make it very easy to take something the wrong way.
9. You’ll Realize Your Strength
After having my babies, I felt like superwoman. I remember thinking that if I can endure labor, I can do ANYTHING!
Labor, postpartum healing (whether you are recovering from a vaginal birth or a c-section), sleepless nights, and all the hormones- you’re in for a wild ride. But you will make it through because you are stronger than you know.
Motherhood has made me stronger than I could have ever imagined. You may have always been a tough cookie, but motherhood shows us how strong and resilient we truly are.
10. Motherhood Can Feel Lonely Sometimes
I have such respect for single parents. I have NO idea how they manage it all. I am fortunate to be a stay-at-home mom who is married to a wonderful man, but I was surprised to feel lonely at times.
Taking care of kids and talking to children all day leaves me craving adult conversations. Days can feel long, especially if your husband works late or if it has just been one of those days.
I have also found that if I do not carve out time to do things that make me happy, I can feel desperate to feel like “me” again. So, make time to connect with other adults too! It will help fill your cup.
Congrats on becoming a new mom! Even though motherhood comes with many challenges (what doesn’t?), it is the biggest blessing and the most beautiful chapter of your life. These are the surprising things I wish I had read about before becoming a mom, and wish I had reread before having my son. You will do great! If your baby has made his or her big debut already, what are the surprising things you learned as a new mom? Did I miss anything?
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